From the ledge of the Leg, an insider reveals some of the subtext on today’s B.C. government Speech from the Throne. To wit:

Throne speech paragraph
“The importance of the Asia Pacific and its strategic relevance to British Columbia in this Olympic era, as Canada’s Pacific Gateway, is magnified today.”

Government election translation
We’d like to hold on to our three Richmond seats; we’d really like to win more south of the Fraser. We read Statistics Canada Census data, too.

Throne speech paragraph
“No place on Earth offers more cause for hope and confidence in the future than British Columbia.”

Government flack reinforcement
Remember, B.C. is “The Best Place on Earth”.

Throne speech paragraph
British Columbia has enormous potential in clean, low-carbon energy, mining, forestry, agriculture, manufacturing, technology, tourism, trade and transportation.

Feel-good-for-election omission
We forgot: mining pollutes at the moment; the pine beetle beat us to the CO2 increase from tree loss; farming uses a lot of energy and isn’t normally as clean as your local ‘earth-to-ash-flavour-coloured’ Starbucks washroom; manufacturing… is manufacturing; trade and transportation mean planes, trains and automobiles (trucks), which run on burned jet fuel, diesel and, well, diesel (ok, credit goes toward the technology bit).

Throne speech paragraph
“Our government will increase K–12 education funding in spite of falling school age populations.”

Government election translation
Parents — many of you that actually vote — we want your votes; don’t listen to those (your) teachers, mostly because you cannot (see Bill 42).

Throne speech paragraphs
“In the past 30 years, health spending has climbed from 26 per cent of the provincial budget to more than 44 per cent of this year’s budget… That trend will grow in the foreseeable future, as 90 per cent of all budgeted new operating spending in the next three years will go to health care.”

Government election translation
Seniors and Boomers: we still want your votes, too.

Throne speech paragraphs
“The answer to shrinking global markets is not to close out the world and close off markets; it is to expand markets and to invite the world in, with new vigour and reciprocity… That is what the Trade, Investment and Labour Mobility Agreement with Alberta is about.”

Government translation
We, er… messed up this one. We forgot the “the world” doesn’t have to begin with Alberta.

Throne speech paragraph
“In March, your government will host a first ever joint cabinet meeting with Alberta and Saskatchewan.”

Government translation
We know it, and they know it: spring is still better on the Wet Coast than on the Prairies? And hey (insert nervous laugh), doesn’t everybody want to see the ocean at least once?

Throne speech paragraph
“Mining has a great future in British Columbia.”

Government translation
Sorry, log drivers, lumberjacks. The end is nigh.

Throne speech paragraph
“Our government will build on its Clean Energy Plan with new direction to BC Hydro and to the British Columbia Utilities Commission.”

Government election translation
We can still privatize and abolish/’authoritize’ after the election, if you choose us.

Throne speech paragraphs
“Natural gas is one of the cleanest-burning fossil fuels. It too is an important source of rural jobs and investment in our province… Our government will open up that industry while still ensuring the province meets its legal greenhouse gas reduction targets. New policies are in place to require the elimination of routine gas flaring by 2016… New investments will be made in carbon sequestration technology… With that policy framework in mind, B.C. will make the most of its remarkable wealth of natural gas.”

Government translation
We hope you miss the close, un-natural juxtapositioning of ‘clean’ vis-a-vis “fossil fuels”, because the rest sounds great!

Throne speech paragraphs
“The more we look for ways to use wood, the more we will expand our wood markets…New legislation will require wood as the primary building material in all new publicly-owned and provincially-funded buildings, consistent with the new B.C. Building Code… We will lead the way in safe, six-storey wood frame construction that lowers building and housing costs… Where wood can be employed in building designs for new structural purposes, such as the new Richmond Olympic Oval, it will be.”

Government translation
Wood, pretty.

Government Throne speech paragraph
“Where wood can be incorporated into trim and finishing, it will be — inside and out… This will create a culture of wood that looks to wood first.”

Government translation
Darn IKEA and its unionized store… in Richmond, too. Hmm. Real wood, pretty. It may also get you subversively buying B.C. wood over that scandalous Scandinavian pine & particleboard. That’s two birds with one stone.

Throne speech paragraph
“The Olympics will highlight and showcase our B.C. wood products and construction technologies.”

Government translation
We can privatize PavCo, too, after 2010 so we can avoid BC Place Stadium splinters — old roof, new roof, whatever. It was so SoCred, anyway.

Throne speech paragraph
“British Columbia will legally mandate Zero Net Deforestation.”

Government mea culpa
We missed the idea of Positive Plus Reforestation. The speech writer for this paragraph has already been replaced by ‘Wood Good guy’ (plus, we’re considering donating the old guy to the BC NDP or BC Green Party just in time for the election).

Throne speech paragraphs
“The fallout in the industry has been daunting and dramatic, and hardest of all on forest workers and their families… Our government will continue to work closely with the federal government and industry to help.”

Government translation
Blame the feds?

Throne speech paragraph
“To complement the major new investments in the northern corridor, government will open up the new Delta Port, the new South and North Fraser Perimeter Roads, the new Port Mann Bridge, the new Evergreen Line and the new Pitt River Bridge and Mary Hill bypass.”

Government translation
Please forget the Pattullo. It’s deadly, gets gutted by fire, and it’s really a Translink problem, isn’t it? Besides, it’s a connection to New Westminster and surrounding areas where we won’t (New Westminster), or probably won’t (Burnaby-Lougheed, Burnaby Edmonds). But, we do like Surrey (see above), and the redistribution in the north-east sector interests us.

Throne speech paragraphs
“Funding for advanced education will increase… As more students choose to complete their studies and more workers look to pursue new training and skills development, more resources will be available… Fortunately, we have prepared, with the largest post-secondary expansion in 40 years… That has created nearly 32,000 new student spaces since 2001… Seven new universities have been established and new medical schools have been launched in Prince George, Victoria and Kelowna… A new law school will be opened at Thompson Rivers University in Kamloops in collaboration with the University of Calgary.”

Government self-props, omissions, admissions (pun intended)
1. We planned ahead. We couldn’t fill the first 20,000 of these 32,000 seats when the economy was booming.

2. Our seven ‘new’ universities were mostly institutes or university colleges already authorized to offer undergraduate and applied master’s degrees. But they were opposition ideas from the ’90s. And we had Geoff Plant, QC, prepare a report recommending the idea most people wouldn’t have rejected anyway.

3. We really hope the new doctors up north will stay there. God knows we can’t keep them there.

4. New lawyers mean we didn’t take Shakespeare seriously in high school either. Ironic, huh? Oh, and about the association with the U of C… UBC couldn’t take the whole Okanagan and UVic’s law school was too far to help — and too close to the legislature to be of any help.

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